secondsofsea

Friday
B- pop tart
L- small sub sandwich
ugh.

saturday
toast with and egg

that's all!

B- packet of oatmeal, black coffee, orange juice
S- fruit bowl and espresso
L- smoothie with soy milk, banana, and  protein powder
D- chipotle bowl (black beans, peppers/onions, salsa, and gaucamole)

1/2 c granola with almond milk
packet of oatmeal with honey and mixed nuts
5in veggie grinder, couple of fries
mixed fruit bowl
piece of bread with pb and 1/2 banana

B- coffee with unsweetened almond milk
L- roughly 5 bites of greek salad and pita
Mid-Afternoon- Venti Americano with soy milk
D- a lot of asparagus and a couple bites of tortellini

Monday: weight was 112
breakfast- 
1 egg + 1 egg white
lunch- 
2 scoops acai sorbet
1 scoop granola
1/3 banana
dinner- 
2 fish tacos 
glass chocolate soy milk

Tuesday- weight was 111.5
breakfast- 
1 egg + 1 egg white with 1 slice turkey
grapes

Lunch- piece of bread with mozzzarella and grilled veggies

random- half almond butter and raspberry preserves on wheat sandwich, some chips and pice de gallo, and a few almonds

dinner- half of a grilled cheese and watermelon

(too much bread ew)

Wednesday (so far)- weight was 111.5
breakfast- 1 egg + 1 egg white, watermelon and grapes

Plan tomorrow:

Breakfast: 
Monster Mean Bean: 200

Lunch:
VitaRain: 0

Dinner: 
Energy Drink/Starbucks/or Diet Soda

Starting tomorrow, these are the foods I am allowed to eat until Tuesday, April 22nd:
-All fruits
-All vegetables 
-Natural granola bars (Luna or Clif), one per day
Drinks- water, coffee, tea, low/no cal drinks

CW: 109

today:
Breakfast: apple and coffee

Lunch: luna bar and vitarain

Snack: honey roasted peanuts

dinner will be vegetables of some kind and just water for the rest of the day.
plus at the gym i will do a half hour of cardio, abs, and hopefully some weights.
 

Tomorrow's Plan:

Breakfast:
Apple
Coffee

Lunch:
Luna Bar
Baby Carrots
Fruit

No Dinner. 

My weight has been fluctuating between 106 and 109, I hate, HATE, HATE those numbers, but I need to be patient. I just want to stay away from binging and unhealthy foods. Tomorrow I want to try my hand at semi-veganism, except not really, just hardcore pescatarianism. I want to cut out all animal products and by products with the exception of fish. I don't agree with the way animals are used to create food for us greedy humans and I don't like what ingesting animal products does to my body. As of tomorrow I attempting to cut out:

-All Meat, with the exception of fish.
-All Dairy: Milk, Ice Cream, Sherbet, Yogurt, Cheese, Chocolate, Most Baked Goods, Etc.
-Foods with excessive amounts of sugar
-Baked Goods
-Excessive Carbohydrates/Refined Carbohydrates
-Bread/White Flour

Basically, I can eat:
-All Vegetables
-All Fruits
-Luna Bars
-Fish (wild caught)
-Soy Milk/Soy Products
-Coffee and Tea

was, eh.

Breakfast was kashi go lean crunch and an apple, lunch was some whole grain pasta, salad, squash, then i had some potato chips and an apple and peanutbutter, for dinner i had a chipotle vegetarian burrito. 
I did work out though, bike abs weights. 

Tomorrow my plan is as follows:
Breakfast:
1 apple
water, coffee

Lunch:
Luna bar
fruit of some kind
baby carrots

Breakfast:
1 apple
few bites of burrito

Lunch:
Luna bar
carrots
energy drink
banana

snack:
diet pepsi/dp
roll with peanut butter and reduced sugar strawberry jam
few sips of soymilk

going to do some cardio and abs at the gym, i'm gonna tone up with weight after i lose some weight
i think i'll call it a night, but have some vegetables for dinner.

cw: 106

 So far:
Breakfast- 
Grapefruit- 103

CW- 106

Today:
Breakfast-
Grapefruit - 103

Lunch-
Luna Bar- 180
Baby Carrots- 42
Grapefruit- 103

Total: 429

skipping dinner. fat people do not deserve to eat dinner.

CW- 110

no eating until i'm 90 lbs.
GOOD LUCK YOU FAT FUCK.

once you're at your goal weight. 85-80 lbs:

you'll be good enough.
you'll be good enough for him.
you'll be good enough for your friends.
you'll be good enough for your grandmother.
you'll be BETTER than your mom.
you'll be better than your sister.
you'll be as skinny looking as your brother. you'll be able to see all the bones, just like him.
you'll be prettier and better than her for once.
you'll be tiny.
you'll make all the boys who made fun of you feel bad.
you wont hate yourself.
maybe you will, but at least you wont have that disgusting fat to look at in the mirror and add to your list of things to feel bad about.
you'll be freezing at all times.
you'll be TINY.

 i love adderall.
minimal eating yesterday, i was shaking so badly at work, i honestly thought i was going to pass out. the owner was in, talking to someone, while i'm walking around trying to get my shit together, constantly going to the  back room to feel my heartbeat, trying to catch my breath. 
during all of this, i was a little scared, i haven't felt like that in a long time, and i started to think, "I should eat something, so i don't pass out before close." but then, the change in me said, "you know what? i dont need food, i can get past this. It's just not an option." So that felt pretty good.
i'm back to running every morning, i'm gonna keep building up to a faster speed, longer distance. so i had a protein bar before my run, and a few sips of gatorade. thats it for the day besides water and maybe coffee or something. 

intake:
B:
1/3 cup egg whites (as planned)
small glass orange juice, i skipped my snack later on in the day cuz of this

L:
almost all of my luna bar, but my guy friend made some kind of comment that made me get up and throw the rest away, i forget what it was now.

D: 
small salad
and my mom's making chicken, baked, with teriyaki sauce so i may have some to get in some protein

i didn't even have the urge to snack/binge today. i hope i can keep this up.

 finally, a good day. i needed this, i feel like i can do this now.
plan for tomorrow:

B:
egg whites

L:
luna bar 

S:
apple or nectarine

D:
salad